Bottled up Emotions.

I am having so many mixed emotions this morning. AAGGGHHH!. I am Excited, Nervous, Anxious, Scared, Happy and of course sleep deprived. Darn Steroids mixed with nerves equal no sleep. So today is the Last day of Chemo (Hopefully Forever). Every time I go in for a treatment I worry that there will be some reason that they can't give it to me or that they will say "Oh sorry, not the last one today". I have a huge support group going today. I hope we don't freak anyone out. I have 3 sisters, Mom, Jessica, my niece Jamie and her Hubby Josh (aka Military). They all want to be there when I get to ring the final bell. It honestly seems like it has gone by so fast. Hard to believe it's been 4 months. Of course I still have 6 weeks of Radiation and tests after that but I am not getting ahead of myself. I will have a couple of weeks to recover from this dose before the Radiation Starts. (December 1st) and I don't think anything they can do can be worse than what I have gone through so far. It seems odd to me even now that I have Cancer. I don't know why, I guess because of all the movies I have seen they exaggerate how horrible people look. Some do I am sure but I don't seem to look sick at all. At least in Public. I do let myself go the first few days but then it's "Make up and Hair" time. I want to look the best I can when I face the World. FYI I have decided to do a sort of "Bucket List". My first item was to trespass and walk on a working railroad track. Well, it wasn't on my list but it started the list. Jessica and I are going to be jumping out of a Plane on her 21st Birthday. Woo Hoo. I am not going to be a fanatic but I am living what I have left with Gusto. No more being afraid of things. I may even go back to College. I have wanted to do it for years. Seems like a good time to start.
Wish me luck. Thanks again for all your thoughts, Prayers and Encouragement. I couldn't have made it without my "Support Group".