Finally getting over this stinking Cold I have had all week. I am certainly hoping for a good night sleep. I hope it works out that way. Maybe I will have to break down and take the sleeping pills. I prefer not to take anything I don't have to. Every pill has a different side effect and it has to be weighed as to wether it's really worth it. At least I don't have to get up early tomorrow. Woo Hoo. I actually made it through 38 hours this week at work. That's more than I did on my second week last time. It makes me feel good to be able to work. Somehow I don't feel so much like a "Sick" person that way.
I am looking forward to a fun day with some of my girl friends. We all wanted to get together when I felt "well" enough so we are having a cookout @ Michelle's new condo. BBQd Hot Dogs and Tater Salad. Yum yum. Can't hardly wait.
So in the immortal words of my little Jessica "I'm not gonna Lie" haha. I am very nervous about my next treatment. After the horrid reaction I had last time I just don't know what to expect. I feel like I should right down some of my wishes (just in case) something bad happens. But am I being overly morbid? or just super cautious. I don't know. The Nurses are great and I know they know what to do but if my body doesn't cooperate I am done. It is a pretty scary thought. It's funny how life throws us curve balls. I guess we just live life to the fullest, hope for the best outcomes, and trust that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
October 13th
29 years ago today my little baby boy was Born. He's not too little any more. I had a horribly long labor and to be honest when they put him in my arms I kind of freaked out. I had no idea what to do with him. Of course as parents we never know what to do with these little people we are intrusted with. We just raise them the best we know how and hope we teach them something along the way. My son has made me proud on so many occasions but the best thing for me is to watch him with his own Son. The best thing I could have instilled in him is the Love and compassion to be a great parent.
Of course teaching them to work hard and earn a good living doesn't hurt.
I have already worked 20 hours this week in the last two days. I have come home so tired but it is a good tired. I love staying busy at work. It gives me purpose. If I was to sit at home all day I am afraid I would either be depressed, wallow in self pity or basically sleep my life away.
I was feeling kind of good about myself today. In the last few days I have heard from a few people that I have "helped" indirectly (and unintentionally) with things that are going on in their lives. Today I had a Nurse come up and ask me how she can help her Mom who is battling this Cancer also. When I was first diagnosed I wasn't going to be "open" about any of it. I didn't want to be anyones poster child or the Picture of Breast cancer but who am I to say what my destiny is. Maybe this was all part of Gods plan. I am supposed to go through this, stay strong and be there for others. Either for others to help me through service or me to help them by showing my strength. I will just go wherever this path takes me.
Peace Out.
Of course teaching them to work hard and earn a good living doesn't hurt.
I have already worked 20 hours this week in the last two days. I have come home so tired but it is a good tired. I love staying busy at work. It gives me purpose. If I was to sit at home all day I am afraid I would either be depressed, wallow in self pity or basically sleep my life away.
I was feeling kind of good about myself today. In the last few days I have heard from a few people that I have "helped" indirectly (and unintentionally) with things that are going on in their lives. Today I had a Nurse come up and ask me how she can help her Mom who is battling this Cancer also. When I was first diagnosed I wasn't going to be "open" about any of it. I didn't want to be anyones poster child or the Picture of Breast cancer but who am I to say what my destiny is. Maybe this was all part of Gods plan. I am supposed to go through this, stay strong and be there for others. Either for others to help me through service or me to help them by showing my strength. I will just go wherever this path takes me.
Peace Out.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Tuesday 12th
Wow. I am beat. I worked a full 10 today. I hate that I have to work but Money talks and I still have bills to pay. Some days I don't mind working because it gives me purpose. Today I was so tired that I really didn't want to be there. I have a full blown Head cold. Thanks Austin. haha. I got some perscription strength Sudafed from the Pharmacy. Wish me luck. I am planning on working 40 hours. But of course I now know my weaknesses and I will quit if it gets to be too much. Came home tonight and ate HOT Dogs. Gross I know but boy was it worth all the fat and Calories. Too tired to write too much tonight. Hoping for some goooooood Sleep.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Monday Monday
Oh I hate it when I do that. I wrote a whole page and Lost it. Don't ask me what I did. So anyway, I didn't write at all Yesterday which is a surprise because it was a great day.
Adam's Birthday (29) is on the 13th so we decided that we would celebrate at Lagoon Frightmares. When he was little we always did a Halloween theme so it was super fun. We had a fun little picnic and Superman cupcakes, the weather was amazing and I felt pretty good. It was all around the most perfect day I have had in a long time. I was very wiped when I finally got home but I must say it was worth every bit of the exhaustion. I didn't go to work today. Not enough sleep with this stinking head cold. I did spend the morning with my Baby sister. We got to go to the Layton D.I. for those of you who don't know I am a Thrift store junkie. We had a bit of "emotional" talk and I had an Ephiphany. I am not sure if Sunday was superly magical or if I am just learning to appreciate the little things in life. I am a firm believer that when you come very close to the possibilty of death you live you life a bit different. I plan to live mine to the fullest.
I am finding true friends and actually finding the "Real" me in the process. You never know who you truly are until you are faced with adversity and make it through to the other side. I stick up for myself more than I ever have and I feel pretty good about it.
Off to watch Dancing with the Stars. TTYL>
Adam's Birthday (29) is on the 13th so we decided that we would celebrate at Lagoon Frightmares. When he was little we always did a Halloween theme so it was super fun. We had a fun little picnic and Superman cupcakes, the weather was amazing and I felt pretty good. It was all around the most perfect day I have had in a long time. I was very wiped when I finally got home but I must say it was worth every bit of the exhaustion. I didn't go to work today. Not enough sleep with this stinking head cold. I did spend the morning with my Baby sister. We got to go to the Layton D.I. for those of you who don't know I am a Thrift store junkie. We had a bit of "emotional" talk and I had an Ephiphany. I am not sure if Sunday was superly magical or if I am just learning to appreciate the little things in life. I am a firm believer that when you come very close to the possibilty of death you live you life a bit different. I plan to live mine to the fullest.
I am finding true friends and actually finding the "Real" me in the process. You never know who you truly are until you are faced with adversity and make it through to the other side. I stick up for myself more than I ever have and I feel pretty good about it.
Off to watch Dancing with the Stars. TTYL>
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Saturday
So far so good. I thought it might be refreshing to write on here while I am actually feeling not only well but upbeat as well. haha. I did 3 loads of laundry this morning and now am taking a MOVIE break. Blood Diamond. Kind of sad but really good so far.
Spent a little bit of time with my little Man yesterday. But not quite enough. I miss him when I don't get to see him. He is so funny and is growing up so fast now that he started School. Yesterday he told me he was smart because of the Homework Helpers. "They are Moms that come to the School and sometimes even Dads". What a kid. So I am excited to think that I might get 2 whole good weeks this time instead of just 10 days. One can only hope. That will make the next one a little easier to bear. Still can't taste anything (which I hate) but I guess it keeps me from eating 24/7 (which is what I really want to do). I actually hung up a Halloween sticker today. Not much but I at least feel like I did something. Maybe today I will go buy a Pumpkin @ WalMart. They had some pretty nice ones that weren't too expensive. Feels good to be alive in the FALL.
Spent a little bit of time with my little Man yesterday. But not quite enough. I miss him when I don't get to see him. He is so funny and is growing up so fast now that he started School. Yesterday he told me he was smart because of the Homework Helpers. "They are Moms that come to the School and sometimes even Dads". What a kid. So I am excited to think that I might get 2 whole good weeks this time instead of just 10 days. One can only hope. That will make the next one a little easier to bear. Still can't taste anything (which I hate) but I guess it keeps me from eating 24/7 (which is what I really want to do). I actually hung up a Halloween sticker today. Not much but I at least feel like I did something. Maybe today I will go buy a Pumpkin @ WalMart. They had some pretty nice ones that weren't too expensive. Feels good to be alive in the FALL.
Friday, October 8, 2010
October 8th
Woo Hoo!. I slept all night. That is a minor miracle in itself. Going to try to play a bit today. Going to lunch with some Ladies from the neighborhood and picking up my chicken from School. So excited I haven't seen him for 2 weeks. I miss his cute little face. I am sure I will be napping tonight but it will be worth every minute to feell "Alive" for the day. I have to keep remembering that I will have these good days. When I am having the bad ones it's all I can focus on and I am sure I will never get better. My big focus now is Thanksgiving. I will be done with all of the Chemo and my "Bad" week by then and am planning on Celebrating big time. Hopefully going to St. George to be with all the extended family. Either way I am looking forward to "tasting" the good food. How's that for a Goal? haha. My goals lately seem to revolve quite a bit around food. I am constantly hungry yet nothing is "good" so I am constantly thinking of what to eat next. Too funny. Last night my daughter had Chinese food and I literally sat and watched her eat it. I had already had dinner but somehow it was fun to watch her enjoy her food. OMG. I sound like I am obsessed. haha. I guess I kind of am. Well off to shower and put on "My Hair". Time to feel a bit human. Thanks again for the prayers I am absolutely positive that God is in my corner on this one.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
TLC Series
O.K. I officially decided I will be the next IDIOT on "I didn't know I was Preganant". I am pretty sure with all this back pain and jello legs I must be about to deliver Triplets. I am telling you right now if a baby pops out it's going right back.
I read the Immodium package today and it says I should take one pill each time I "Visit" the restroom for my "issue". (Doesn't that sound alot better?) But I can only take 4 in a 24 hour period. There's always a catch. I have been in there at least 20 times today. I think that is a bit over the limit. I do believe between the Loratab and the Immodium I might just make it throught tonight sleeping in my own Bed. One can only hope. On the plus side I "almost" tasted a German Chocolate Brownie that Jeff brought home. I could taste the sugar on the bottom. Woo hoo. There is always something positive in every negative. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to taste a Cheeseburger from Five Guys. haha.
I read the Immodium package today and it says I should take one pill each time I "Visit" the restroom for my "issue". (Doesn't that sound alot better?) But I can only take 4 in a 24 hour period. There's always a catch. I have been in there at least 20 times today. I think that is a bit over the limit. I do believe between the Loratab and the Immodium I might just make it throught tonight sleeping in my own Bed. One can only hope. On the plus side I "almost" tasted a German Chocolate Brownie that Jeff brought home. I could taste the sugar on the bottom. Woo hoo. There is always something positive in every negative. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to taste a Cheeseburger from Five Guys. haha.
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